Joy: The emotion of sharing

Joy, like all other emotions, has a function: to be shared. As social beings, we need contact with others to stay alive. Yes, contact is that important! If there is no nurturing contact (especially in early infancy), if there is no sharing… life goes away! That is why when we feel joy, a clear impulse is born in us to get closer to others, to share, and to give. This emotion is usually pleasant for everyone, and of the four basic emotions (joy, anger, fear, and sadness), it is, without a doubt, the one that has the best connotations! But watch out! Joy, like other emotions, can also be positive or negative depending on its dose. When we do not feel enough joy, melancholy or apathy appear, states that are not particularly healthy if they last for a long time. And if we feel joy in excess, we can enter into euphoric states that can also be very harmful to us! I will explain this a bit more, since it might be difficult to understand how an excess of joy can be negative for us. Here’s the explanation… When we feel euphoria (an excess of joy), we lose sight of reality, become overly optimistic and unwise, and we might even act without taking into account the effects or consequences of our actions on those around us. If you remember a time when you have felt euphoria, surely you can identify with this feeling of losing your connection with others around you; you stop empathizing with them and disconnect from them because you can’t see beyond yourself or the fact that connected you with this emotion. Then, instead of sharing from the heart, from the essential core of yourself, you destroy the other person… Have you ever felt this? Can you recognize it in some time in your life? This is why I insist: No emotion is wholly negative or positive, they all have a specific function that helps us to self-regulate in the midst of the crazy, exciting swing of life. Don’t hold on to any emotions. Let them come to you, feel them, be mindful of them, integrate them… and let them go! This way you’ll give space to life’s flow… And linking to this perpetual flow of life, I will end by giving you a beautiful text by Mario Benedetti: “May whoever has to arrive, arrive, May whoever needs to leave go, May what needs to hurt, hurt… May what has to happen, happen.” Judith Benavent